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Dear Blog Land and my fellow Blog-ians, it seems I have hit a dry spell and daddy ain’t happy. What the fuck?! I thought everything was going good. Meeting new people, hooked up with a few new lovers. Then BAM! Brick wall to my face and I got nothing. I can handle dry spells, I mean seriously I stayed celibate for over a year for crying out loud. OK, so I stayed celibate because I thought I was in a long distant relationship and turned out I wasn’t, but whatever at least I stayed faithful even if he couldn’t. The problem I’m having this time is the fact that once I get it in my head that I want sex I become crazed! All I can think of is sex! My mind wanders, I can’t focus, I become like a rabid dog looking for blood. It is sad and pathetic. Why not masturbate, you may be asking me that. Why gee, why didn’t I think of that. I jerk off three times a day, I should be more then satisfied, but I’m not and I’m going crazy. Oh and I’m ready to strangle the next person who tells me when you least expect it you will find it! Really because fucking people works that way? I know maybe if I was looking for love I can stand behind the statement, but sex?

I’m pretty sure part of the problem is I am hella picky! I am and I will not apologize for it. Yes, I want sex, and yes I can probably find a one night stand that will take care of my freaking out….for now. What happens the next night or the next night, or hell two weeks from now when it starts up again? If I stick with one night stands my options are going to become depleted very quickly and I will need to relocate. I just want to find a steady “friend” and go from there. For now, astroglide, take me away!

Dear Blog Land and my fellow blog-ians, I have taken it up myself to be a connoisseur if you will of porn. Now there are things out there that I do not like and I know I don’t like them because I have either tried them or run screaming towards the hill when they have been explained to me. So maybe connoisseur isn’t exactly the right word I’m looking for but it is the word I will be using for today’s discussion as I am to lazy to a word search or thesaurus for what I’m looking for. Any who, I have decided this and so there it is. I may not like everything but does a food Connoisseur like everything that goes in their mouth? Most certainly they do not, but there pallet and taste is usually a little more opened and advanced then your usual foody type.

So the weather outside has been frightful. In the fact that it is overcast and rainy with sudden hail attacks. Nothing is better then being ten steps away from your mode of transportation when a sudden hail attacks comes pelting down from above and you have nothing to protect your precious melon from those icy spit balls from hell that fall from heaven. So after having my noggin pounded on and no longer having the desire to go and do anything I decided I should continue my education of the art and sin of Porn. Namely today’s genre is German gay porn. Why, might you ask, is this very specific genre on my list? Well it’s really simple I want to have a Porn Across the Globe collection, and as I have several from Budapest, Japan, the UK, Italy, Brazil, why not German. I figured I should pick a continent and complete my collection before moving on to the next. Just trying to be a little more organized in my life. Or as organized as I can get. So here I go of to the world wide web of fum to find my German porn heart throb to add to the collection.

Dear Blog land and my fellow Blog-ians, today is just so blah. Yesterday exciting and wonderful news, today is just sort of blah. Oh wait I already said that. See, see how humdrum I am. I swear drama happens everyday whether I like it or not and it keeps me on my toes, brings new adventures around every door and corner, except today.
Well I guess I haven’t actually done anything as of yet, but I’m being a bit of a fraidy-cat. So one of my neighbors in my apartment complex has come up on my radar, and the man is fucking hot. The kind of Hot you read about in my blog posts after blog posts. He has some scruff on his face, some meat on him, eyes that you could get lost in, and really I just want to tear his clothes off and hope he reciprocates my actions. He is a little shorter then me but as he is a bit stockier then me so I’m fine with having an inch or two on him. It’s not like one of my former lovers that I had a a whole 5 to 6 inches over him. My lovely sister always likes to say what an odd pair we were, and we were in more then just the physical department. We made about as much sense as a straight porn for a gay guy.
Anyways I digress. So this super hot neighbor of mine who’s close I want to rip off I can’t get a read on him. AT ALL. You know most of the time you get a feel for someone if they are interested in you or sort of interested you can tell. This one nothing! He smiles, he acknowledges my waves of hello I want to rip your clothes off. Ok, well he probably doesn’t know the difference between my polite Hi/Hello wave and my HELLoooooo, let’s fuck wave, but give him time I think we can make this work. If I can ever leave my apartment again to make a big bold advance on him. I guess time will tell.

Dear Blog Land and of course my fellow blog-ians, I tell you what a day! I can’t complain. I really though it was going to be a horrible day due to the simple fact that I had to act like an adult at the un godly hour of 9:30am. That was the time set for me to go down to my local health center and get tested for a sexually transmitted disease. What the Fuck! But I am proud to say that I kept the appointment and got my wonderful tushy down to the center and peed in a cup. I was mortified when I got the news last week and who I got the call from. I am all about the safe sex, but I will admit I have been slacking when it comes to my own safety and making sure I use a condemn every time. Well low and behold Mr. moves to fast called me up and said he tested positive and that I needed to go down even though I have had NO symptoms and it had been about a month and a half since the last time we were together. I was furious, embarrassed, and most of disappointed in myself for even getting myself into this situation. I wanted to ignore it and bury my head in the sand, or some kind of earth substance, but I didn’t. I realized I want sex A LOT, and I will want it again. If I’m carrying something that is horribly unfair of me to pass it on all because of my pride. So I went down and they had me pee. They gave me the oral antidote instead of a shot, so YAY! for me and not getting stuck by a needle. P.S. I hate needles! I will get the results in a couple of days and if it comes back positive, I already took care of it and if it comes back negative, well no harm no foul. On top of all this fabulousness I get back to my apartment and flop on the couch to revel in my adult like behavior, when I get jabbed in my back by something very solid. I reach behond me and low and behold my favorite bear porn that I lost like 2 months ago had worked it’s way out of my couch and into my hands. Life is Good!

Dear Blog Land and my fellow Blog-ians, I have noticed every time I think of muscle bears I get the alka seltzer theme song stuck in my head. Weird I know. I went back and took a look at some of my blogs and realized that when I decide to talk about my favorite subject my titles are usually to the beat of Alka Seltzer to the Res-cue! If you have no idea what I’m talking about You Tube that shit, or Google, or whatever your preference of search is DO IT! I was going to talk about the gorgeous muscle bear man working the Wendy’s drive thru today and thought you all should hear about his lusciousness and that he could man handle my spicy chicken anytime, when I started humming “Muscle Bear Man to the Rescue!”. I took a look back and saw that I had the same song stuck in my head when discussing the Doctor and Garbage Man. You would think I would have the “Trojan MAN” doot do doo stuck in my head not alka seltzer! My first thought should not be plop, plop fizz fizz oh what a relief it is and thank god it’s not! It’s rather just the catchy little theme song and I like to imagine myself being rescued and whisked away by one of these amazing manly men and so far my luck has been pretty good. Crap I hope I didn’t just jinx myself with that, but hell I’m going to say it loud and say it proud! I wouldn’t say I sleep around, OK so I wouldn’t say it but some of my friends might! So any who this all started because of the hot guy who touched my chicken and my soul with his forever eyes and deep voice, and damn it I’m getting distracted again!

Dear Blog Land and my fellow Blog-ians, today is a sad day indeed. I think I have decided to become abstinent. Yes, you read that right. I think I will be giving up on sex with real flesh and blood people. No, I will not be moving on to animals! That has never appealed to me, though the stories are fascinating. Should I ever actually witness such a thing on You Tube or any of those download your own home videos I may have to rinse my brain out with alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol! Any who as I was saying I’m just so sick of people and mostly men! I can’t seem to catch a break in the love department and I’m honestly quiet sick of all the cheating bastards that seem to be in endless supply where I’m living! I mean honestly when you meet someone and hook up shouldn’t one of the first things out of your mouth be “oh by the way I’m in a committed relationship”? I mean at least then if I make the choice to still fuck you then I know it is just fucking and not possibly or could possibly become something. Also don’t I have the right to know about said “committed relationship” and go in with my eyes wide open? I say “committed” with apostrophes because how committed are you if you are coming home with me?! okay so the way the last couple sentences are phrased you might get the wrong impression. I’m not looking to fuck someone who is already taken and I more then likely will pass if I’m told, thus being left in the dark on the whole relationship part, I get it. I’m done! I’m throwing in the towel! My white flag is raised! I think I will just spend my money on good hot gayporn. Porn never cheated on me, it might have mislead me in it’s description to move sales, but it never cheated on me. Where did I put my “special” towel?

Dear Blog Land and my fellow Blog-ians, I’m really getting sick of hearing woman bitch how all the goods one are either taken or gay! Really, if that was true I would have found the perfect man by now and be in la de da land in complete bliss. This however is not the case. All the good ones are gay indeed! Maybe all the ones with big dicks are gay because I haven’t seemed to find a shortage in them, but that’s another story for another day. Any who this all started when I decided to go to lunch with a dear old friend of mine from back in the day. I’m not going to say how far back in the day, at what point back in the day, or how many years said back in the day was. I think I age myself enough I really rather try to avoid doing so. Any who we go and have an amazing lunch of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, as we both discovered we wanted to spend our money shopping and not dining out so I put my culinary talents to the test. At least I didn’t burn the grilled cheese, the soup on the other hand…well let’s just say it isn’t wise to bring tomato soup to a roiling boil. I mean once it cooled down we were able to dip our sandwiches to our hearts content, so yeah culinary skills. So after a warming lunch for such a rainy dreary day the only thing left to brighten us up was to shop. We hit one of our favorite stores EVER, Target. Yes you heard me Target. What can’t you find there. As we stroll through the isles making witty comments and debating if it is normal to be that flexible walking through the exercise and Yoga section and staring at the covers in utter amazement. My friend runs smack into the back of Mr. McDreamy himself, well not really but damn! She profusely apologies he winks at her and says something corny like it is always nice to be run over by such a beautiful creature, BLACH! She swoons and I try not to vomit on my $150 shoes. So he smiles they do the flirty flirty and he walks off. She’s in love until we turn the corner and he is pushing a cart with two kids and his bombshell of a wife, significant other, baby momma is draped on his arm. My friend looks at me and says “figures all the good ones are taken or gay”. To which I replied “All the good ones are not gay, but the gays with big dicks are welcome to come my way”. Hell at least she laughed.

Dear Blog-land and my fellow Blog-ians I had a most wonderful dream last night, I awoke happy and refreshed till I remembered it was a dream and felt crushed all over again. I had a dream about my favorite ex who I still pine for, sad but true. We could fight about anything, but most of all we could laugh about everything. Ugh I sound like a freaking hallmark card. Any who he was amazing-ness all rolled up into a five foot eight package of Dominican yummy-ness! That’s right he was a rocket in bed and new how to fuck me hard and fast like I like it. He was the first man I was ever with to have an uncut gay penis and I never really realized how pretty a penis could be. It was like a surprise package that came out to play just for me, until I learned later (after I had moved and we promised to give it a year, but that’s another story) it wasn’t just for me and thus the ex title! It was a fat cock that I had no problems dropping to my knees to start sucking when he whipped it out! He would tease me how docile I would become after sex and I would tell him if he gave it to me more often maybe I wouldn’t argue so much. Far from true but hey I can dream of more sex can’t I? I know this really shouldn’t be the most important thing I remember but it is the only thing I can type about that won’t start the aching pain all over again. I moved 500 miles away and that’s when I found out about the sharing of said pretty uncut cock and we started drifting apart. He would tell me to remember the things that made me smile. The things we did that made me laugh. Those quirky moments the two of us shared. The only problem with all of that is those are the same things that bring the tears.

Dear Blog land and my fellow blog-ians. What The Fuck! Yes, I’m dropping the F-bomb this fucking early into my blog. I try to consider myself a thoughtful person who if it is possible for me to help someone out I will. I would not consider myself generous as I often don’t have enough of anything to just give it away, but if someone I know is in trouble and they ask, if I have it I am more then willing to help. So obviously you have to love the foreshadowing of were this particular blog is going. My dear friend, who shall for hear on out be referred to as Jose because really he always struck as more of Jose then as a, well we will just leave it as his momma should of named him Jose. Any who Jose came to my door the other day, at like midnight, just an absolute mess, and as I am usually the proud crown holder of being the DQ (Drama Queen) of our little group, I knew something was up. Jose is not known for losing his shit for any reason. I tell him to come on in and did he want anything to drink? What the fuck is up with him? He just spills it all! I mean everything, and even though I may be pissed at him at the moment I still love him and will keep the uber personal out of this blog. Because let’s face it this blog is about me not him and if he wanted to share all those little details with the world wide web he can start his own damn blog. Anyways suffice to say it was juicy and shocking! The kind of scandal that would make hair grow out of a bald man’s head just so it curl! Anyways it came down to him and his longtime forever life mate had a huge blow out and Jose got kicked to the curb with no where to go. I immediately tell him he is sleeping on my couch till we figure everything out and it will be fine. Jose squeezes me till I see stars and I go get the linens to make up the couch bed. I tell him I’m exhausted he must be even more so and we head to our respective sleeping compartments. Why not more then 2 hours later do I hear a very ear splitting squeaking coming from somewhere in my apartment. I get up to investigate, with a baseball bat. Only to find two gay guys fucking on my couch. MY COUCH. Only Gay man fucking on that thing should be me! With the lights flipped on and baseball bat in hand Jose looks at me and says with a cheesy grin “Me and Carlos made up”. “No shit!” I say “Change the sheets when you’re done”. Friends, got to love them!

Dear Blog-land and my fellow blog-ians. It has come to my attention that porn movies are not for everybody, and if you are trying to introduce porn to your significant other maybe try and find something that is more suitable to them and then gradually broaden the world of adult content from there. I’m just saying throwing in a hardcore bondage anal fuckfest were the person (who for all we know really likes it) is screaming and writhing in the video like they don’t enjoy it maybe is not so suitable for someone who has never showed any interest in bondage and actually has a horrific fear of being tied up and abused. Trust me this was my experience and Mr. Bondage certainly learned who the dominate one was when I threw him out the door. I like gay porno movies as much as the next person but I have my genre, niche if you will and bondage was not it. Now some of you are reading this going well no shit, but really I have to wonder about the majority of you little fuckers out there. I actually had one of my dear friends come over white as a sheet and catatonic after his girlfriend, yes you read that right his girlfriend, put in one of her favorite porno movies for them to enjoy together. She told him it was a threesome movie that got her really hot and bothered, and of course he was excited she never shown any interest in involving something like this into their love making. She told him it was two guys with one chick, he was loving the sound of it and told her to go ahead and pop it in. What she did not tell him was that the second guy in the threesome was not so much into the girl as he was into the guy. By the time he came to my house he was just stuttering “is that how it really is?” and then he hugged me. OK, my friend loves me I love him but he knows I’m gay and we just don’t ever really have the bedroom talk and this is why we do not have the talk. He is fragile, very fragile.