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How hard is it! Really, how hard is it? If you have no rhythm please for the love of what ever your religious denomination allows you to believe in do something about it! Take a dance class or music class. I have heard amazing things about Zumba! Go see a hypnotist therapist to unblock whatever it is that is keeping your rhythm rhythm-less! There is nothing more frustrating or disappointing then to receive a hand job from an amazing, drop-dead gorgeous man who can’t seem to follow your rhythm, let alone any! I even had music playing and was breathing in a very heavy, and I would like to think sexy, one step – two step beat that could not be missed. Obviously I was wrong.
OK, maybe just feeling pissy with the lack of happy finish, big bang finale, call it what you do, but I need to vent and you inevitably chose to click on my little rant. What does one need to do, I ask? Do I need to rent, buy, download a video with directions. Or create and Idiot’s Guide to Guys Jacking Off! Maybe my talents will be best served by starting a support group for survivors of unfortunate hand jobs. I know, I know, get over it you are thinking, possibly even screaming at your monitor; we have all been there. But as I said, I need to vent, and you unfortunately clicked on this. When though, when was the last time this happened to you? Last night should have been spectacular fireworks kind of night. Alas it was not and now I’m randy and ready to go and contemplating if I should call Mr. amazing, drop-dead gorgeous rhythm-less wonder. Who am I kidding, I will and I will teach him with ever inch I got.